Yes, I’m still alive/New blogs
Hi there. In my previous post I mentioned that I’d be up and moving, and I have. Deflower’d is doing very well, with my recaps of Australian Idol attracting a lot of readers. I logged in to this blog today and realised that quite a few people were still reading this one, mainly for film reviews I’ve done.
So! If you read this, please head on over to my music/gossip/reality tv blog Deflower’d as well as my newer, slightly more formal blog Landslide (design, music, tv, film).
Relocated
I decided to make a new blog with a better name. Well… better is a relative term. Anyway, it’s called Deflower’d. It has a wider scope then just films, but all my posts here are now on there, and I’ll continue posting film-related stuff there as well as the other stuff I post about.
Oh, I need a good theme for it. I want something clean, minimal, but stylish. 2 or 3 columns. Anyone?
Best news evah?!
Austin Powers 4 is in the works! I’m so excited! Woo! Yeah! Who’s with me? …well? Any… anyone? Ok fine. I’ll see it alone.
Breaking news!
Phewf! Christian Bale didn’t actually assault anyone. His mother and sister are money-grubbing whores, and provoked him at his hotel room, where he was literally trapped. Apparently his sister wants $200,000 or something. Anyway, the world is back on course, and Batman, though Dark, is no villain. I’m like a modern day Shakespeare. Shakespeare was pretty unsuccessful, yeah?
Christian Bale beats women?
Ninemsn.com.au has reported that Bale, who recently kicked ass in The Dark Knight, has been accused of assault by his mother and sister.
That’s pretty fucked up. I wonder what will come of this. Did he assault them? Would they lie about something so serious? Bale is basically the biggest star in the world right now, so this is kinda huge news.
Story here.
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight. Wow. Just… wow. It’s amazing. It’s the best Batman film ever, the best superhero film ever, and it’s one of the best crime films I’ve seen to date. It’s just freaking brilliant. Ledger as The Joker was terrifically terrifying, hilarious and astounding. I’ve seen the film twice now, and the second time around I spent ages just staring at his face trying to find Heath Ledger in there – but all I could see was The Joker.
Mini-Reviews
Get Smart
2.5/5
Fairly entertaining but not funny enough.
The Happening
0/5
Shit sandwich.
Gone Baby Gone
4/5
Really interesting mystery/drama starring Casey Affleck. Well worth checking out.
Ed Wood
4/5
Hilarious b&w biopic about the universally accepted Worst Director of All Time, Edward D. Wood Jr. Johnny Depp stars and it’s directed by Tim Burton.
Planet Terror
4/5
Modern schlock horror at its bloody best.
Layer Cake
3.5/5
Great british crime film, starring Daniel Craig.
A Scanner Darkly
4/5
Disturbing story of drug addicts and an undercover cop in the near future. Uses rotoscoping animation technique to create a shifting, hallucinatory vision of addiction.
Doomsday
1/5
Neil Marshall’s third film (after Dog Soldiers and The Descent) is about a viral outbreak in the UK. It is really stupid.
Flu ramblings are fun
I have the flu. It’s winter here and I am really quite ill. Shaking, fever, sinus issues… Ugh. Not good. It’s 2am and I can’t sleep. So here’s some stuff.
So apparently they’re making two movies about Sherlock Holmes. One is a comedy starring Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell (blerg), and the other is a serious one starring Robert Downey Jr. (fuck yeah!) and directed by Guy Ritchie (semi-fuck yeah!). Would RDJ be right for the role?
It’s been a few months since I last read any Sherlock Holmes, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Holmes, in the books, is in fact quite charismatic. While Holmes was based on an older teacher of Arthur Conan Doyle’s, the actual character is actually around RDJ’s age, and was fairly charismatic. I think. He was supposed to be one of those prodigal genius’ that everyone was amazed by.
Uh, in closing; me like Robert Downey Jr.
Approximately 7 years ago I said I would review Rogue. So here it is.
Rogue is the second feature film by Aussie director Greg Somethingorother. McLean! That’s it. Thank you, IMDb.
His first was Wolf Creek, which was fucking scary and really well made. A lot of people diss it for being brutal and cold, but in my opinion it succeeded at what it wanted to; be a good horror film. It was tense, suspenseful, otherwordsthathavethatsamemeaning, and it really hit home. I’ve traveled through the Central Australian desert, and it’s scarily remote. The 4 leads (3 young adults driving north on a kind of backpacking holiday thing and the… the antagonist) all do a great job, and the plot and dialogue are both excellent. Highly recommended for those who appreciate good horror. I give it 4/5 in general, but it’s a 5/5 horror flick.
Anyway, Rogue follows a group of tourists on a boat cruise up a river in the Northern Territory, in outback Australia. The cast includes Michael Vartan , who plays an American travel writer, Radha Mitchell as the boat captain and tour guide, and several others who, in any other horror film, would just be making up the numbers. Here, those others include Aussie comedic actor Stephen Curry and Wolf Creek star and Australian icon John Jarratt, and they’re not just making up the numbers. Most of the cast give strong performances. Most. Basically, the boat gets stranded upriver far from help, and the tourists and their tour guide find themselves trapped in the domain of a great big hungry Saltwater Crocodile. The film delivers most of the genre conventions, but does so in an entertaining and fresh way. The tension is high, and the Croc looks pretty bloody scary. This is a nice little creature feature, and it’s definitely worth a look.
3/5
I also saw The Prestige, so I thought I’d give my opinion on that too. It’s good. Hugh Jackman’s accent slips a few times, and Christian Bale is unremarkable (as usual), but other than that it’s a really nice, interesting film. I’m a big Chris Nolan fan, and he really delivered a great piece of cinema here. Many people look for hidden secrets and further depth in this film, and rightly so; the film itself really creates a strange experience for the viewer. It leaves you thinking, “Wait… did I miss anything? Is there more to this than meets the eye?” And that is a question I still can’t answer.
Speaking of Hugh Jackman, there’s significant buzz about his upcoming X-Men spinoff, Wolverine. He was arguably the best thing about the X-Men movies, and I like the Jack Man, so I’m hesitantly looking forward to this.
I’m starting to feel pretty unwell so I might end this entry here and see if I can get to sleep. Cheerio!
Revisions, or ‘I was wrong’
Indiana Jones 4 sucked, and Get Smart doesn’t look half bad.
Rogue and The Prestige mini-reviews coming soon, as well as a review of the classic 1974 noir, Chinatown.
I’m a Llama Farmer
Albert Hammond Jr.’s new album, Como Te Llama, has been leaked. I’ve got it, and my initial impression of it is fairly positive. Same tone as Yours To Keep, same production style – clean and crisp – and it seems to be of the same quality. I’ve been listening to it as I ramble around the internets tonight and it’s been incredibly easy to listen to, without completely fading into the background.
I love The Strokes and I consider their first two albums to be modern pop masterpieces. AHJ’s first album was a hair’s breadth away from them in terms of brilliance, and his second sounds like it could well be on that same level.
What’s Going On?
The Happening sucks. It sucks HUUUGE sweaty balls. It’s without a doubt the worst movie of the year, and possibly of the decade. It was unintentionally hilarious in it’s poorly scripted, ham-acted idiocy. Do not pay money for this unless you enjoy mocking shite films in a public arena.
Live And Let Die
Live Free or Die Hard was a huge movie, an action-packed blockbuster that heralded the return of John McClane to the silver screen. Somehow I missed it at the theatres, but last week I finally sat down and watched this baby
Coming soonish… Die Hard 4.0 and Rogue reviews
That’s right, soon I’ll be posting reviews of Live Free or Die Hard, or Die Hard 4.0 as it was titled in Australia. I’ll also be posting a review of the Australian creature feature Rogue, a movie which practically no one saw.
(They’re watching Big Brother)
Physician, heal thyself. C’mon, it’s been 7 seasons already, heal thyself!
In semi-alright/moderately okay news for Scrubs fans, the creator Bill Lawrence (or ‘billy’ as John C. McGinley calls him) has spoken about the upcoming season – or seasons – of Scrubs and about ex-network NBC.
Things I’ve learned from comedic panel discussion/quiz shows
- “fluffer” jokes are no longer funny
- relevant guests (i.e. musicians on music quiz shows) are never as entertaining as irrelevant guests (comedians or regulars)
- The Chaser works best when scripted
- “APEC summit” jokes are no longer funny
- the Brits do it better
- jokes about death? always funny. They say he was a good actor but Heath Ledger’s last performance was a little hard to swallow. see?
- ross noble makes everything at least 3 times better
- i wonder if Heath Ledger’s suicide note was titled, “10 Things I Hate About Myself”?
- ok now i’m just getting distracted…
- one of the regular team captains is always either fat or bald. fact.
- if one of the regular team captains is female, she is never very attractive, but never too ugly. if she is too ugly, she must be extremely funny and/or cynical.
- it’s rumored that Heath Ledger might have actually died from alcohol poisoning….. a few too many cock sucking cowboys.
Double Jeopardy (or, How I Learned Not To Take Harvey Dent At Face Value)
Here is the leaked … well it could be concept art or it could be a screenshot from the film or it could be fake…
but it’s for… you guessed it: Two-Face.
Gute Nacht
Okay I’ll do a brief review of We Own the Night because I said I would and yeah.
All my sentences end in ellipses…
Back at university = me having no time to review. Sorry yo!
Saturday Night Fever…
Coming soon, a review of We Own The Night starring Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg.
